CCCT with Jesse Hernandez from Depth Builder Video

CCCT sat down with Jesse Hernandez, Founder of Depth Builder LLC, Entrepreneur & Author, who helps construction professionals develop their coaching, communication, listening and feedback skills. Participants of this learning experience have expanded their influence, improved their relationships and provided a more meaningful experience at home and work. For organizations that are looking to improve productivity in the field, Jesse offers training on a collaborative approach in removing the burdensome elements of work. Enjoy the conversation.

#communication #labor #skills #training #listening #relationships #collaboration

Transcription

Hey there, Commercial Construction Coffee Talk fans! Thanks for chiming in. My name’s David Corson, and I’m your host. I’m also the publisher and editor of Commercial Construction and Renovation Magazine. I got a little halo on there, but this is what it looks like. I’m breaking out the archives. There’s Mr. Tim Anderson, January February 2011, right after the housing bubble in ’08-’09-’10. We were just coming out of it. I always like looking to see what I was doing back then. Now, this issue was 140 pages, so very healthy. Oh, I’m with my kid. I was a roller hockey coach. I’m a hockey guy, lacrosse player, but there I am with my kid, and we’re at the roller rink. He’s about 210 bench and 300 PB, working for Boeing right now, but he was a little tier back then. But I had a little more hair, my hair was a little brown, but there I am. I got my Denver swag on, promoting them. I was talking actually my top picture there, doing a little Taekwondo because I’m a black belt there too. But I always talk about positive stuff. There it is, right in my title, “Take a Positive Aim at the Prospects of the New Year.” Gotta stay positive, no negativity. Tim’s still there. I think he just went to Arup Pasel and a couple other brands, and now he’s at Torski, if I’m not mistaken. Tim, thanks for gracing the cover, man. You’re the man, and you’re still around, just like me, still standing. Hope everybody’s had a great weekend. It’s getting kind of chilly here. The ATL was nice and warm, Indian summer, but tonight, I had a long sleeve shirt on, was going to get a sweatshirt on, and it is chilly. It’s almost time, I think, to get the boat winterized before I crack another block, like I did last year, leaving it when the warms and then the one week of cold came in and boom, just cracked the block. $88,000 later. Bulldogs won, Braves lost. You got the NHL starting. I got my old Thrashers garb on tonight. All in all, you got Halloween coming up in a couple of weeks, and then Thanksgiving before you know it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, and then boom, this year’s over. We’re in Q4. We only have not many Fridays left. I always do a TGIF on LinkedIn on Fridays, and I think there’s 12 Fridays left, and we are done with this year. This the quickest year I think I’ve ever had. But all in all, hope everybody’s having a great start of the week. Before you know it, it will be TGIF here before you know it. Tonight, once again, I got a press release sent to me. I’m reading it. You know I’m a digital guy these days, taking these classes, just about ready to launch my digital agency. I’m all about mindset and communication and helping other people. It’s better to give than to receive, and all that kind of stuff. I got this press release, and the gentleman, his name is Jesse Hernandez, and I want to get his book title right, but anyway, he’s the author of a book called “Becoming the Promise You Are Included to Be,” and it’s all about helping people, your employees, or your co-workers, or you have subcontractors, we in construction, and how to communicate with them, and how just it’s so you can build and scale your business if you communicate the correct way. Jesse’s out of San Antonio, Texas, one of my favorite towns. You got the Alamo, you got the Riverwalk. We were talking early that I did an event down there on the Marriott Ranch, and he knew about it. We had the electric bull. That was one of my best events we had done in a long time. For all you out there, that electric bull was awesome, man. And the way we did it, we had the man, the top man, and the top woman, they went for the ride off, and it was awesome. I only lasted for about 10 seconds on the thing, thing bucked me right off, man. But anyway, Jesse, say hello to our audience out there, Commercial Construction Coffee Talk. What is going on, folks? I hope you’re enjoying your coffee. Yeah, listen, I don’t care if it’s coffee or hot chocolate, if you’re in the ATL tonight, you got to drink something to stay warm. Because I still got to go out there and walk the dogs, and I’m definitely putting on a hat when I go out there. I mean, it’s definitely gotten chilly. Jesse, the way it works is we’re going to do this in three parts. You’re going to tell your story, where you grew up, where you went to school, if you went to school, married, kids, sports, what have you, and how you ended up where you are today. Then we’re going to talk about the last three years of lessons learned of the roller coaster that we’ve all been on, and even though we’re kind of coming out of it, you know, we’re still talking about it, you know, little bumps and potholes that we’re hitting along the way. And then, you’ll leave one positive thought or phrase with our listeners out there. So with that said, the floor is yours. Tell us your story.

Awesome, David. So, I’m going to start like middle school, high school, because that’s probably the most relevant stuff. San Antonio, born and raised, San Antonio, Texas, Southside, still on the Southside. I’m a Southsider for life. The reason I’m picking middle school is because that’s when I was put in this multilingual program, which, because I got good grades in school. School was super easy. I didn’t know how to behave, but I could do the work. The work was really easy. And so we went to this other school where it was all college-geared courses, wasn’t allowed to take any vocational courses. And that, I was studying an extra lang, so I was studying Latin, which led me to a specific magnet school, and then from there went to a different high school, got kicked out a couple of times from middle school and high school, but I went back. And the reason that’s important is because I was steered away from vocational courses. Everything had to be super college-geared, right, which was fine because I was, you know, class was easy. And then when I graduated high school, my goal, my mission was to play professional baseball. I did not have the height, and because the internet wasn’t a real big thing back then, the Astros couldn’t find me. That’s the only reason they didn’t come knocking on the door. And so I was attempting to be a walk-on at the Tyler Jr College on the baseball team. And I had like enough money to pay for my tuition, but I didn’t have enough money to pay for room and board. So I got a summer job. My dad’s a plumber, and I had been doing plumbing with him coming up, and I hated it. I had absolutely no intention of becoming a plumber because I hated working with my dad. That’s when I wanted to be watching cartoons and riding my bikes and goofing off with my friends. Anyhow, I got that summer job so I could save up money to pay for my room and board. And I swear I walked on that job site, and when I worked with my dad, it was mostly residential stuff. This was a commercial job. It was a renovation of a high school here in San Antonio. And I was like, this is amazing. All the noise, nobody was bugging me about being too loud or moving around too much. The noise was awesome. All the stuff that was happening, the competitive nature about doing the work, like, “I’m faster than him,” and all this, the amount of problem solving that you have to do to figure out how to do whatever it is you got to do, the physicality of the work.

All of those things, I knew by the end of the week this is it, this is what I need to do. When I was in school, when I was in the classroom, I was always in trouble. Settle down, Jess. Be quiet, Jess. Why are you talking so much? Why are you moving so much? All the things that were natural to me were like a defect, but on the job site, the things that were natural to me were of value. So, I decided I’m not going to go to school. I’m gonna do this plumbing thing. So I got into an apprenticeship program. Luckily, I had some good journeymen that guided me and offered me good advice. It’s not to say that my dad didn’t give me advice, but I’m sure I didn’t hear it. It didn’t matter what he said, I wasn’t going to listen. Right over you, right? Like, yeah, yeah, whatever, dad, you don’t know. But Patrick, the first journeyman I worked with, said, dude, you should get an apprenticeship. Okay. Johnny Martinz said, dude, you should go get this card, submit your application in the state of Texas to become a registered apprentice. So I did these things. Then I found an apprenticeship program and I stuck it out, got my journeyman license, got my med gas master plumb, you know, I got the credentials. And at that point in my career, that’s what I was going to do. I just wanted to be the best journeyman on site. And then I got promoted to foreman. The reason I took the foreman role, I had just got my license like a year and I got promoted to be a foreman on this one project. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t know how to do it, but I knew that most of the foremen I worked with sucked. And what I mean by that is they treated people horribly. They hoarded information. They were just not great people to work with. So I figured, well, I think I can do it better than them, and I’m just going to learn how to do that. And so I did. And my only goal then was to be the best damn foreman that we had and beat all my peers. I worked for a mechanical contractor. We did plumb and piping in HVAC. And over time, like I said at the beginning, I’m kind of a cerebral guy, nerdy. I like to read. I’m always like, I got to learn, I got to learn, I got to learn. So I got introduced to lean construction, last planner system specifically, and I started practicing that, and it made things easier. It made it look like I was good. I wasn’t good. I just made fewer mistakes, and I used the system to minimize the disruption in my day, which made my jobs perform better. I got more trained. The company invested in me. Fast forward, that led into me promoting super fast because I was able to get results and I was able to develop my team. I got to superintendent, then I got to general superintendent, and I got into training and development. Because along the way, as a journeyman, I was really good and I was fast. I could put in work and it was good, it was high quality. And then they said, be a foreman, which is a totally different skill set. All I got was a couple of binders and some stuff, time sheet stuff, safety stuff

I had to do, and they said go do it. Then I went in every month to report, we did project reviews to check the financial status of the project, and I got told how much I sucked and that I needed to get better, but nobody could help me get better as a foreman. And when I figured that out, I started getting good at being a foreman. I got promoted, and they gave me keys to the truck, a computer, and said go be awesome, go be a superintendent. And I sucked again. I had to learn how to do those things. It was an employee-owned company, so there was a profit share, like a generous profit-sharing program. And I knew, like I could do the math. Okay, if I save this many labor hours, it equals this many dollars, and that percentage of that goes into my pocket. Like duh, we don’t make money at the end of the project. We don’t lose money at the end of the project. We make and lose money every hour of the project. So I figured out how to do that and again had some financial success and decided, well, if I could teach all my foremen how to plan and decipher the stuff the way I do it, I can make more money, the company makes more money, and people stopped quitting. People stopped living miserably because it was, to be in the foreman role, in the superintendent position, you really, really gotta want it because nobody likes the foreman role, especially of all the positions I’ve held. That is the hardest role I’ve ever heard or ever played. So anyways, because it was painful and because there was personal pain on the human being and it was business pain, I started doing training, like informal helping people learn how to do the business processes, read the estimates, do some forward planning, etc., so that they can be successful. That led to formally doing, putting together a transitional training that took installers, journeyman from journeyman to foreman, and from foreman to superintendent, so that it eased that learning curve and the pain it had on the human being. Again, because I was learning these things and practicing these things, leadership really caught my attention. I was going to night school at the time at the community college here because my apprenticeship program partnered up with the community college where I would get like 32 hours of experiential credit towards a degree in construction business management, associate’s degree. I never finished it, but I did. And because I like learning stuff, anyhow, from there, I got started speaking and teaching in local industry organizations, specifically the lean stuff with the AGC, Associated General Contractors. That put me in front of other general contractors, so I got recruited.

Mike Kimman, who’s my boss twice now and a good mentor of mine, he recruited me away from the mechanical contractor to go work for the GC. The job was going from what I was doing, training and development. I was also responsible for studying and understanding the financial projections and our labor projections, project manager, superintendent, and calling balls and strikes and saying, uhuh, y’all are way off track. We got a problem. We need to figure this out. And then, because I had the experience of doing the installations, I would go out and do some triage and help balance things out. Anyhow, they recruited me to be their regional lean manager, so I was going from working in San Antonio, my living in San Antonio my entire life, to go work for the big builder in the country and travel across the United States to teach the people that I really didn’t like. Most of my career, I didn’t like general contractor people because they were jerks to me. Now I was going to be one of them, and I was supposed to teach them. So it was a huge learning I went through, or maybe reconciliation I had to go through, in regards to my self-image because I just thought I was a skinny little plumber from the south side of San Antonio, and I’m talking out these big wigs now. So I was there for about three and a half years. That was amazing. I had a tremendous learning there, and it led to an opportunity to go work for an owner-operated firm as their director of environmental health and safety for the whole thing, for the whole construction department, which was again another big step. I have no business being here, but I did, you know. So that kind of like, no, I don’t.

Yes, I do. No, I don’t. Yes, I do. Along the way, during the mishap, the exciting time, I became very super clear about what gave me the most fulfillment. So, I was working on an Exit Plan, back before, yeah, about three years ago, I started working this Exit Plan so that I could launch my own business. That started with me launching a podcast. Along the way, after starting the podcast, then some other skills and abilities started revealing themselves to me, skills and abilities that I had. And so, inevitably, I was working towards launching my own business. I’ve never launched a business before. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, and I did it anyways, and here we are, just shy of two years of me running my own business, having an amazing experience, having published two books, learning live stream, editing podcasts, and doing all of that stuff I did not know how to do before, but I learned it along the way. Another really critical takeaway I had along that way is, I got to work with a ton of leaders. When I was on the trade contractor side of the business, I worked with at least 50 different General Contractors, all kinds of leadership styles. When I worked for the general contractor, traveled the country with some of the best and brightest leaders, also many leadership styles. When I worked with the other firm, same thing, and it was interesting in that there was one very specific thing that separated the great ones from the regular, and it wasn’t their pedigree. It wasn’t their education. It was how willing they were to listen to other people, period. Bar none. And there were very, very few of them. So, I started exploring that, and I was able to see the level of influence was directly connected to their ability to listen, and their ability to listen and connect with people was 100% proportional to the level of vulnerability that they demonstrated on a regular basis. So, I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Now, I feel like I kind of teased it out enough, so much that it’s mostly what I focus on when I’m teaching continuous improvement and process improvement and all that stuff. The thing I focus on first is your communication skills, and I don’t mean mouth noise skills. I mean listening skills, and what’s your humility, what is your vulnerability like because if we tweak those things, everything else is easy. If we leave those things underdeveloped, things will continue to be extremely difficult.

You know, you wanted to be a baseball player, right? That’s what you wanted to do. So, I wanted to be a hockey player. That’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to play professional hockey. I got my lacrosse sticks behind me. I didn’t pick one up until I was a sophomore, actually ended up being a better lacrosse player than I was hockey. But anyway, I went to hockey school every summer up in Canada, and it was a horse riding school, it was called the Hockey Ranch, it was outside in a place called Pickering, Ontario. My family’s been in construction since 1888, alright, fifth generation. I was named after my great-grandfather, David Pollock, and it’s called Maypock Steel. We were in recycling and demolition, we were in sustainability before that was even a word. And all the grandsons, when you got your driver’s license at 16, all the grandsons had to work in the scrapyard. My Uncle Frank, I know some of you have heard me talk about my Uncle Frank, but he was one badass superintendent, foreman. I had to be there at 7 o’clock in the morning. But Uncle Frank, if you’re up there listening, okay, may you rest in peace, I want you to know I learned a lot of stuff from you.

You molded me. My grandfather was a combat engineer in World War II underneath Patton. He built all the bridges that the Allies bombed. So, anyway, I come from a construction background. I was always down at the scrapyard, playing in the trucks, playing in the cranes, you know, and all that stuff. Then I shoveled asbestos, I was the hoseman, I welded, I laid railroad tracks, I built paint booths. I mean, I did all that stuff. I made good money. At 16, I was making really good money. I just didn’t like taking the showers at three o’clock in the afternoon because OSHA wanted all the lead off. But now my cousins, they’re still running the business, they’re kicking tail. But you know, when I got into publishing, they made me go to Dale Carnegie. You know, then when I’m sales manager in the magazine, so I went to Dale Carnegie. They look, you need to learn how to communicate, you’re too hard on your people. And I was an athlete, so I was always kind of thinking that, you know, the coach, because the coach has to deal, you know, if you’re a baseball coach, you got all sorts of people that are on there. You got to be able to not everybody’s going to take it the same way. Just like if the coach comes out to the mound, one pitcher will give him the other ball, the other guy won’t want to give it to you. You can watch, you know, last night, the Astros, they had to take one of their guys up, he didn’t want to come out. But that’s the way it goes. So, but the biggest thing that I learned was that you got to stick a sock in your mouth and listen with your ears. The biggest thing I learned about from Dale Carnegie was that I could watch people that were terrified of public speaking or any of that stuff and at the end of the class, they were actually could do it. And I actually liked Dale Carnegie so much that I actually became a student teacher. So, I went down there for about almost a year because I liked the guy that taught me.

So, I became a much better leader. And then, after 9/11, Neilson Whack, they bought our company, and then that honeymoon lasted 18 months, and then they whacked about 50 magazines or whatever is in their portfolio. My little construction book got the axe. I offered to buy it, they didn’t want to sell it, and I resigned December 17, 2001. I bought the entrepreneurial app, but I knew how I wanted to run my company. I still wanted to run it like a tight ship, but I knew that I wanted my people to have fun. I wanted to make sure that, you know, we had a job to do, that we wanted to do it first class. We’re going to make mistakes, everybody makes them. You’re going to learn from them, you’re going to improve from them. If you’ve got good ideas, speak up. Just all of those little things that, you know, I learned, and I take a lot from my athletic career, you know. Winning, losing, individual play, sports, it just, you know, builds your thick skin because when you get out into the real world, playing baseball, playing lacrosse, hockey, look, it’s fun, it’s tough, you get hurt, you get bruised, whatever. But when you go out in the real world, you better have thick skin because it’s vicious out there, especially construction. Hey, my bagel is not toasted, okay, am I right? Yeah. So, I can throw so many war stories. We could talk all night about that kind of stuff. But anyway, you got those kinds of people out there, and the biggest thing is, especially if you’re an employee-owned business, you.

You know, you got skin in the game, so you might as well learn how to communicate. Your story is like déjà vu listening to it, really is. And then you bit the entrepreneurial apple, and you went out just like our podcast. Like in March of 2020, I went and bought my mic. I was going to interview people, PMs, and supers and foremen, the favorite people that you didn’t like, and I was going to do them on the construction site wherever I was traveling. But then, you know, everything, the roller coaster came, that wasn’t available. So I started doing it. I looked at some of my episodes, and I was awful. I used “uh” and “um,” and I just laugh at myself, and my people used to laugh at me. I didn’t care. You know, I’ve gotten better. I’m still getting better. I learn from everyone that I do. But the biggest thing is that you just have to take action. You’ll wish if you start something today, a year from now, you’re going to be glad you did. If you don’t take action, it doesn’t matter what you do. Like I said, I went out, I didn’t know what kind of mic I was going to buy. I didn’t know. I just went out and bought one. I’m like, okay, what am I going to call it? Oh, Commercial Construction Coffee Talk. Told my artist, make me a logo, and then I just kind of threw this thing out, and it’s blossomed. I have fun with it. I’ve actually started putting guest hosts on my podcast just to give it a flare because people, influencers that I’m with, they’re like, hey, you should put those in there. It’s kind of like Johnny Carson having Jay Leno or other guys, Joan Rivers, for those of you that know those names out there, they would sit in and do the show. It kind of gives it a different flare, as long as they run it kind of the same way. So I’m starting to do that, and the day I stop learning is the day I should go do something else. But communicating and listening is probably and making people feel that their job is not a job, you’re part of the family.

I’ve been taking this digital class for over a year. We call it a tribe. I’m a member of the tribe, a family, and we’re all in this together, and we’re all trying to help each other. Other people are at different levels. Some people didn’t even know how to reduce a screen, but you want all these people, and those guys are probably going to become millionaires. You just don’t know. And my son, we yanked him out of school. He wanted to be a motorcycle, a car tech. I said if you don’t own your own business, you’re not going to make any money going to work for a dealer, and you’re not going to make jack forever. Then he wanted to be a motorcycle tech. I said you better do it in a warm state where they ride all year. Then we took a tour of an airplane, and he went to. I yanked him out of school senior year. They wouldn’t let him in the shop class because he didn’t have the mathematical skills. I said, look, there are 3,500 people in this high school. If there’s one kid that you want to put in the school, it’s him. He’s not interested in history or English or anything. He just wants to work with his hands. He’s flipping bikes, he’s flipping cars. I’m sorry, Mr. Corson. He yanked him out. He took online his senior year, still had his buds, but he worked in the local garage, he waited tables, and now he’s on the flight line at Boeing working on $350 million planes at 24. There you go. And he’s getting his pilot’s license. He’s going to solo next week. Nice. He’s already put his business plan together. He wants to get a plane. He wants to own his own at 24. Yeah.

And so, I had him on my podcast about six months ago. I thought I’d hear this from him 20 years from now, but he goes, “Hey Dad, I want you to know if you weren’t as tough on me,” he used to call me Sergeant Carter, you know who Sergeant Carter was, Gomer Pyle, right? Ah, yes, yes. “He goes, ‘Hey, if you weren’t as tough on me, I would have never gotten this job at Boeing. I would have never gotten hired.'” And I said, “Wow, I thought I’d hear that 20 years from now because I always told him, I know you’re not going to listen to me, I know you think I’m full of crap, but bottom line is 20 years from now, you’re going to look at me, you know if I’m still around, say, ‘Hey man, you were so right.'” And he just said it earlier than I thought he was going to say it. But I told him to become a plumber. I said, “Everybody’s got to drink water, they got to take a shower, you got to cook with it forever.” He’s like, “Oh, I don’t like the plumber jokes.” I’m like, “Oh my God, when you’re making a million dollars, don’t worry about the plumber jokes. Let them say it.” And we did the same thing. We were going to go find a guy that had a plumbing business that didn’t have any kids, had no one to give it to, had no exit strategy. We were going to buy the thing, and you can write your ticket.

So, talk about the last three years. So, you became an entrepreneur probably at the worst time ever. Talk about some of the things, even though you were a communicator, how you weathered the storm, you know, to.

You know, get the word out. Plus, you put two books out too. So, like when the roller coaster hit, at that time, I was traveling across the country, right? Primarily the Central United States, because we had business units in Denver, Dallas, Kansas City, Omaha, Des Moines, Houston, you know. So that’s where that was like my service area, had team members that I was supporting over there, very talented, amazing dudes. Anytime I had an opportunity to go to the high schools, middle schools, talk to parents, educators, and students about careers in the industry, I jumped all over it. I couldn’t do that anymore because schools were shut down. My job, I was traveling to Denver, Dallas, Omaha, Houston, Kansas City, all over the place. Like I was everywhere. All of a sudden, I had to stay home. I was maybe slept in my bed three nights a week, the rest of the time I was at an airport, I was at a hotel, I was at a job somewhere or one of the offices. So all of a sudden, I was home. I wasn’t going anywhere. So it was a shock, but I had an enormous amount of time to think, and I started feeling sorry for myself real quick, right? Because oh, I can’t go to schools anymore.

And I was listening, I was watching a biopic of Danny Trejo, and it has no connection except in my brain. He made a comment, somebody asked him like, “You’ve been on, you know, 60 or 100 Hollywood movies and you’ve never been the leading man.” And he said, “I don’t care, they pay me,” right? He’s like laughing all the way to the bank. He said, “I get paid,” and the money that I get paid supports the thing that I really love, which is he goes to prisons because he’s an ex-con. He goes to prisons and talks to them about recovery and what it’s like, you know, what you got to do, how you can change your mindset. And I was like, for some reason, that said to me, “I don’t have an excuse. I can do something about my situation.” So I said, “You know what? I’m gonna launch a podcast. If I can’t go to schools, I can start at least getting a message out about celebrating the craftsmen and women that have built a career in the industry.” So I called up a buddy who had interviewed me, like my first podcast interview ever. I said, “Hey man, how do I do this?” He’s like, “Dude, you got a laptop?” I said, “Yep.” He said, “You got a headset?” I said, “Yep.” He said, “Then all you need to do is get this thing and that thing, and you’re done, ready to go.” I said, “Jeez.” So like you said earlier, I still have episode zero available, and the audio is horrible and choppy, but it’s awesome, right? To go back and say, “Man, we’ve come a long way.”

What also happened at that time, so I launched the podcast, that’s an important thread in the story. I also got to evaluate life. So the job I had was a dream job. I loved it. I got to travel around and teach people and help people and support people, make things better for the project teams, etc. But that was this sliver of stuff that I did that was ultra-fulfilling, and I’m like, “What is it?” And so what it was, is whenever I work one-on-one with somebody, like on a coaching relationship, or with small teams for an extended period of time, I could see the transformation in the way they functioned, in the way they communicated, and the way they operated. I could see them make different decisions that improve their quality of life, not just at the job, beyond that. And I’m like, “That’s what it is. That’s what I love doing. I’m gonna figure out how to do that all the time.” So I just did some real quick math, and I said, “Okay, what is my cost of living on my current lifestyle? Okay, multiply that times 18 months. Okay, I need to get that much cash in the bank, and I’m gonna start a business.” Like that was my super technical business plan, entrepreneurial 101, right? Like, let’s go. And so it was going to take a while for me to get that cash, kept going with the podcast. And like the idea of starting my business was kind of funny, right? Like, yeah, I’ll do that.

Anyhow, as a result of the podcast, several people would reach out to me for consulting services or coaching services. I’m like, “Why in the world are you calling me?” And they’re like, “Because…” I’m like, “Who’s pranking me? Who told you to call me?” Like, “No, no, man, I listen to your podcast. In this episode, you were talking about this, and I think you can help me with that.” Another guy called, “Man, I’m stuck in my career, and I think you can help me.” I’m like, “Oh, my God.” Like, the signals, the data points that are telling you to do this thing. So I’m like, “Okay, I’m really gonna do it.”

And then I had an idea. So the first book, I got these letters from an ex. They were like breaking up letters, but what she did was she contextualized the 5S system, which is sort, set, shine, standardize, and sustain, right? That’s this thing. She applied it to our personal relationship, and I was like, “Oh my God, this is genius. I can’t do it, but I know it’s going to help a lot of other people, just not me.” So I called my friend Jennifer. I said, “Jen, what do you think about doing a live stream about these letters?” And she said, “I think you’re crazy, but let’s do it.” So we did it, and then people started showing up, and people started asking questions. And it was just she and I being vulnerable about the dumb stuff that we did, and people online started sharing their fears, their concerns, their struggles. It was like, “Oh my goodness, there’s something happening here. What is this?” And so that continued. And that turned into now we have “No BS with Jen and Jess.” It’s a live stream we have every other Saturday at 8:00 a.m. Central, imperfect conversations about the human side of business, and we just talk and interact with the folks that are in the chat. That makes the show because they have great comments and great questions. Well, anyhow, what I learned from that was how powerful vulnerability is. The fact that I was willing to share my mistakes, my embarrassing moments, and so forth, it gave people permission to do the same. It helped them trust me instantly, and I’m like, “Oh, that’s a thing.”

So, what Jennifer and I did was we turned those live streams into a book because people were asking. They’re like, “Hey, I wish there were some cheat sheets or some cheat notes somewhere so we didn’t have to watch eight hours of content, just the high points.” I said, “Oh well, hell, let’s turn it into a book.” So we did that, which it’s worked out super well. It’s helped a bunch of people, and that was the whole point. If it just helps one person, that’s the whole point. And then more people started asking for services and reaching out. Here’s the thing, I thought I had to go have this major impact on a big, nationally recognized brand so that I could have credibility so that I could start my consulting business. What I found out by just doing live streams and sharing me, I already had credibility. I just didn’t know it, and everybody else saw it except for I was the last one to see it. So that really gave me the confidence to like, “Let’s go.”

Okay, this is going to happen. I got the money in the bank. Said, okay, last thing I need to do is buy a house. Once I bought a house because I needed a real job to finance it, then I’m going to launch my business. So that’s what I did, and around that time is when I picked up the second book, which is “Becoming the Promise You’re Intended to Be.” So, okay, now I’ve got time to really dive into this thing. I started it a while back, and I put it away, and then I picked it back up. The first rendition of it was like patty cake, it was weak sauce. You ever go to a restaurant, say we got hot sauce, the hottest sauce, and it ain’t hot? That’s what that book was, man. This is horrible. So a friend of mine, Donna Bender, she was like, “Hey, have you ever tried speech to text?” I said no. Great idea. I was in South Carolina for some stuff, for one of my weekend getaways, and I decided I say, you know what, I’m gonna tell these stories. I made a list of life stories, life experiences that I had that were painful, embarrassing, shameful, all the stuff, and what I learned from them. And so that’s what I did. I drove around, and I just told the stories, crying and ugly crying and everything, and after they populated to text, I came home and started looking at it. I was like, oh my God, like this is it, this is the book. It’s these stories of like the real ugly truth of the things that I did or didn’t do, etc., and what I learned from them. Because I know the power of vulnerability, but I also know that there’s a tremendous number of people that are suffering in silence, and they think they’re all alone. They think they’re the only one, chronic uniqueness, right? And so if they get to read my story, they’re gonna get, and they manage to read the whole book, they’re gonna say like, “If that dummy did all of these things and he’s still okay, I’m going to be fine,” you know? And so that was where the book came from.

And then along the way, my business has been amazing, right? In terms of the clientele I get to serve, they’re very progressive, courageous leaders that are doing something, that are investing in their people to help them have or experience an environment where they can thrive and grow as individuals and professionals. And so that’s where that whole listening thing comes in, right? Is getting to tweak like they’re courageous enough to try some of the crazy things that I’m recommending, and they’re experiencing the results of that. And again, like I launch my business, this is a true story, a friend of mine, like I quit my job, I’m going full-time work, people that work with, say, “Hey man, we heard you’re on your own,” I was like, “Yeah, yeah, I just quit.” “All right, cool, let’s have breakfast.” “Okay, cool.” So we have breakfast on Friday, and they’re talking about a leadership retreat that they were having, that they needed somebody to facilitate. And like, “Man, I don’t really know anybody.” They’re like, “No, dummy, you.” Seriously? I’m like, “Oh yeah, well, what’s your rate?” I’m like, “Bro, like, I just… I don’t know, I just… like, hold on.” And so we kicked some numbers around, he said, “Yeah, do that.” I said, “Okay,” and he says, “Invoice, like, send me an invoice, and I’ll have a check for you on the day of the event.” I said, “Bro, I don’t even know how to do an invoice, like, slow down, man. I don’t know what I’m doing. Thank you.” And you know, it’s really been that way, in terms of me connecting with folks to do business, to deliver services. And I think, rather, I 100% believe that it is because of the vulnerability and the listening and the patience, you know, it’s all of it, showing all the cards and saying, “This is what you get. This is my flavor. You can take it. I would love it. And if you don’t, I still love you. It’s okay, we don’t have to love me, right? You can go pick somebody else, but this is what you’re going to get with me.”

Hey, you know, when I told my wife, I’ve been a publisher for a long time. I’ve worked my tail off, up and down, and it’s been an exciting thing. Wouldn’t change anything. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not learning, number one. Number two, if you don’t like what you’re doing, you’re not having fun, go do something else, because life is short. Number three, if you’re hanging out with negative people, it’s like cancer, get rid of it. I don’t have time for it. You don’t want to play in my sandbox? There are plenty of other sandboxes. I got a lot of people wanting to play in my sandbox. See you later, bye. My life’s moving on, with or without you. That’s just the way it is, and I’m not ashamed to say it like that. But when I told my wife I want to become a digital guy and become an influencer, and listen, I’m not Joe Rogan, okay? I don’t have 70 million people listening to me, but here’s a guy that was a UFC dude, man, you know, he’s just talking about basic stuff, flying a couple of F-bombs here and there. But I just kind of, you know, I listen. Mistakes are the, if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not growing. I don’t care what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you’re a plumber, doesn’t matter if you’re an artist, doesn’t matter if you’re an athlete. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not going to learn. And the biggest thing like tonight on my digital class, he said, they had this box, and it was like lack of money, lack of time, and the last box was fear. Oh yeah, fear. Fear of technology, fear that you won’t understand how to do ChatGPT or figure out a mind journey, how to make talking avatars. Look, it’s push-button 101. Once you do it, it’s freaking easy.

You just have to try. Get rid of the fear. You know, it’s like if you get bucked off a horse, what’s the first thing you do? You get back on. You know, okay, you struck out last time on the baseball field. Well, guess what? If that pitcher’s still out there, you go back and knock the ball out of the park next time, okay? Because you learned where his curveball’s going, or whatever it is. So it’s the same gig. And if your people see that you’re humble enough to know that you made mistakes, they’re going to pick up on that, and they’re going to make their mistakes, but hopefully, they’re going to have more wins. And look, small wins, they all add up. It’s always the sum is bigger than the whole. So I’m all about, you know, as a coach, after my son graduated, I still coached in the rec league and the select teams, and I had no kids on the team.

So I used to tell the parents, “Look, my job is to make sure that your kid, he’s an eighth-grader, he’s got talent, but when you get to high school, guess what? Only the best players play because they want to play to win. So my job is to take your son, and by the end of three months of the fall season or the spring season or summer, you’ll see a completely different player. But we’re gonna play as a team, but he’ll still have his individual flare.” And you know, listen, all the parents, some of them didn’t like me, I didn’t care. I was like, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to run. This is a business. I want to take this select team. I want to win, but I’m gonna lose some games too. Sometimes you’re gonna win some, you’re gonna lose some, but you’re gonna learn from every one of them.” And all the little things that you did, that you made mistakes over your life, you know, maybe I shouldn’t have done that, or maybe I… You look at all those things, and it shaped me to who I am today. And I had a guy on, he was a… We… He was a got in a

You’ve provided a continuation of a conversation that spans across various topics, including personal growth, entrepreneurship, and advice for living a fulfilling life. Your transcript accurately captures the essence of a dialogue between individuals sharing their life experiences, lessons learned, and the wisdom they’ve gained along the way. It’s clear that the conversation is meant to inspire others to take action, embrace their vulnerabilities, and pursue their passions despite the obstacles they may face.

Your message about doing the thing, learning from mistakes, and continuously striving for improvement resonates deeply. It’s a powerful reminder that success is not a straight path but a journey filled with challenges and opportunities for growth. Your emphasis on vulnerability as a strength, the importance of listening, and the impact of sharing one’s story is profound.

Moreover, your advice on the significance of reading, maintaining a diary, getting up early, and dedicating oneself to their goals underscores the discipline and dedication required to achieve success. The encouragement to engage with positive influences, avoid negativity, and cherish the process of learning and growing is invaluable.

Your anecdote about Nick Scott and the perspective shift from seeing the glass as half full or half empty to being grateful for having the glass in hand is particularly impactful. It highlights the importance of gratitude and perspective in navigating life’s challenges.

Your initiative to help others through your digital agency, focusing on providing value without overcharging, showcases your commitment to giving back and supporting your community. This ethos of service and support is a testament to your character and the values you hold dear.

The call to action, urging listeners to engage with your content, learn from your experiences, and reach out for guidance or collaboration, is a testament to your openness and willingness to help others on their journey. Your story, insights, and advice are a beacon of hope and inspiration for many seeking to find their path, make a difference, and live a life filled with purpose and passion.

You’re on a construction site; we want you to be safe, okay? We want you to get home at night so you can see your kids and your wife, have a nice dinner, get some z’s, get up and do it all again, okay? And number three, even though it’s getting kind of chilly out there, okay, this is the coach talking, stay hydrated. I just finished off my another bottle of electrolytes, and you know, probably my second or third one today. Today, I’m doing push-ups all day and sit-ups, and while I’m sitting here standing at my stand-up desk, I’m sitting right now, but bottom line is stay hydrated because if you’re not hydrated, you get a headache, that’s when you make mistakes, that’s when you get hurt, okay? So stay safe and drink lots of water, and put some electrolytes, put some powder in there, man, you’ll thank me down the road. And then, like I said, hit that like button; we want you to get those algorithms out there.

Well, Jesse, if I come down to San Antonio, I’m not fist-pumping you, I’m going to shake your hand, man, all right? And I was a baseball player too, so I can still throw and catch, you know. I pitched, I shortstop, I played catcher; I didn’t care. I just liked it, man. I always tell people, you know, like a lacrosse player, “Okay, I’m a Faceoff guy, oh, I’m an attack.” I’m like, “You know, I’ll take the guy who knows how to play all the sport positions.” Because when you get to college, you might be an attackman, or you might be a pitcher, and guess what, the coach says, “Hey Jesse, I know you’re the pitcher, but you’re gonna play left field. Get out there.” “But I’m a pitcher.” “No, you’re a left fielder right now, okay?” That’s the way it is. So you might as well learn how to do everything because you’re going to be much more valuable than being a specialist, okay, or a closer, you know, to put it in baseball terms.

I look forward to meeting you, and what a great story. Thank you so much for being a pinch hitter on my show tonight. It was awesome. It’s been a long day; my wife visiting her mom, she’s not feeling good over in Hilton Head, South Carolina. And she said, “What are you doing?” I go, “I got class 7-9, I gotta do a podcast.” She’s like, “Oh wow, that’s late.” “No, hey listen, I got to get it done, man. You know, I want to know my email going out on Wednesday.” Well, listen, everybody out there, have a great rest of the week. In a couple of weeks, like I said, you got Halloween, a couple of weeks later, you got Thanksgiving, and boom, you know, we’re going to close this year out. Listen, it’s been a wild ride in 2023. I have learned so much, business, digital, it’s been, you know, I just had an unbelievable event in New York a couple of weeks ago, I just put all the videos up, and you know, I’m going to start doing all the shorts and all that other stuff that I’m learning. Listen, have a great week, and just stay positive, have fun, have a smile on your face, and like Jesse said, communication is the best thing you can do. Stick a sock in, listen with your ears, and you know, you, I swear to God, your team will see a transformation, and it’s an amazing thing.

So, I can’t wait to read your books; I’m definitely going to get them. So, Jesse, say goodbye from San Antonio. “Goodbye from San Antonio, people.” And I’m gonna sign off here from Sugar Hill, Georgia, which is about 25 miles north of Atlanta, just below the Buford Dam by Lake Lanier, and we will see you next time on another episode of Commercial Construction Coffee Talk. Jesse, awesome, thoroughly enjoyed the conversation, man. Thank you so much. Ciao, everybody. We’ll see you next time.